It Takes A Village

Wow!  As I write this entry, our little town's basketball team is getting ready to play for the state title in basketball.  Last night they had the formidable task of facing an undefeated and heavily favored team.  After a very close game, our team was victorious.  The wonderful thing about the victory is that is was a team victory.  There was not an outstanding player and the scoring was shared by many on the team. When the game was over, parents and friends gathered near the team tunnel entrance.  Each player emerged and was greeted by applause, cheers and hugs.  Parents hugged each other.  Parents hugged their boys.  Parents hugged the other parents and the other boys on the team. As I laid in my bed last night at 1:30 in the morning trying to calm the adreneline flowing in my body, I reflected on how raising kids and teaching is like a team game.  The cliche that says, "I takes a village to raise a child," came to my mind sereral times.  Living in the same village and playing on the same team makes a difference.  My son has had a hard time with basketball this year.  Circumstances have been challenging.  People from our neighborhood, school and community have given words of encouragement; even calling him at home to offer support.  How many times do we see the kids in our neighborhoods or at different activities and fail to acknowledge them?  How many times do we ask with genuine interest the teenagers that we know how life is going?  I have made a committment to myself to do better!!  After this sport season, the compassion and love of others has made the difference to one 18 year old boy.  As parents, we can only express appreciation and try to pay it forward with other youth that may cross our path.  Each young person, no matter the age, can stand to have another positive, encouraging influence in thier life.  As a teacher, I see grandparents, administrators, parents, friends and neigbors stepping up to the challenge of taking on the role in their particular part of the village. Sadly, I also see young people who are just trying to survive. There is always that one person who seems to sense that there is need that is not filled. Unforntunately, life gets so busy, those wonderful people do not get recognition or they are not appreciated until too much time has passed and the contact with those people is lost.  I had two amazing teachers that made a life changing differece to me.  I am ashamed to say that I never took the opportunity to thank them. I hope that, as a parent, I can encourage my children to recogonize those people outside thier family circle that have shown support and love. Such love and encourgement from many different sources can move kids in the right direction.  Imagine how a whole comminity striving to uplift and support could influence the life of the young people that struggle to find their own place.  I think, once again, it is a moment. A moment to show interest, a moment to encourage, a moment to reach outside ourselves, a moment to uplift another and a moment to be an active part in the village in which we live.  Thanks for reading!

Night "Talk"

     My husband and I were driving to a football game an hour and a half away.  During the drive, I was expressing to him my desire to write a book.  He asked me, "What would you put in the book?"  I said that I would put in things that I thought we did that really mattered and made a difference to our kids.  We sat in silence for a time.  I was thinking; What did we do that really made a difference?  Several thoughts came to my mind but one stood out amoung the others.
     Starting with our oldest child (She is now 21 years old) until now, I have had night talk with our kids.  When Sara was little, we would start at a certain time each night.  We would read together, sing together and then snuggle together.  We did this each night.  Then Emily came along and Sara and Emily and I would read together, sing together, and I would snuggle each one of them for a few precious moments.When Jacob came along, it became a little more of a challenge.  I had to do two shifts.  One for the girls and then one for Jacob.  Each night I would read to them, we would sing together, we would snuggle together and then I would put music on and they would go to sleep.  Can I insert here that Jacob was quite insistant that I stay by him until he was asleep?  There were times when my arm would fall asleep because as I was lying next to him I would rest my head on my arm. I would rest my head on  it for such a long time that I would get a dead arm.  Now, Jacob is 18 and will soon be leaving and I am grateful for each "dead" arm!  Sam and Steven came along and the bedtime routine for several years took about 45 minutes to an hour.  As our children grew, the time spent with them at night grew shorter.  I would still tuck them in at night but we saved one night a week for night talk.  It was usually Sunday evening.  On this night, I would talk to each one of our kids.  I would ask them how the week went.  I would tell them of things they did during the week that I noticed that were outstanding, amazing, kind, and ordinary.  We would talk about school problems, friend problems, coach and team problems and share ideas. It was during these night talks that we  solved so many problems, and eased concerns. I guess during these wonderful  moments of time, I learned to see our kids for what they were and for what they could become.  It became an opportunity for me to express my hopes for them, to give them  my vote of confidence and to share my trust with them.  As tears fall on my cheeks as I write this, I am not sure why I started night talk.  I just know that  even when my girls come home from college, I still tuck them in and we still have those precious moments right before bed staying connected and sharing thoughts. Just three weeks ago, on a Sunday evening, our 18 year old and our 16 year old son asked me, "Are you coming down?" I jumped up from my chair and said, "Most Certainly!"  I have a saying above my kitchen sink that says, "We do not remember days, we remember moments!"  As I reflect back, some of my sweetest moments have come during night talk.  Thanks for reading!

Why I Started this Blog

     I never thought that I would be the type of person to have a blog.  I am not very "tech" savy.  In fact, I have trouble remembering to access my email.  I would like to start with a disclaimer.  I am not an expert.  REPEAT!  I am not an expert.  I just have had some wonderful challenges and experiences that have caused me to try different ideas that have worked for me and my family.  I stayed home with my children until I went back to school and recieved my teaching degree three years ago.  I taught third grade for two years then because of budget cuts I was moved to teaching first grade this year.  One parent/teacher conference compelled me even more to start this blog. As two loving parents sat across from me, they expressed their desire to raise a responsible, caring, contibuting member of society.  Their child was, however, having major behavior concerns in my class.  I spoke to them about giving their child choices and consequences.  The mother's response was, "How do I do that?"  My heart went out to these two humble, loving parents.  I then proceeded to give a few examples and suggested a few ideas that might help them.  They have tried those ideas and I have followed up in my classroom and this child's behavior has improved.  This experience and several others throughout the past several months has led me to believe that maybe  others might find some of my simple thoughts helpful.