Aisle in Wal-Mart

Yesterday I went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart.  It was a typical trip. I have my regular routine.  Stop at the vegetables first and then move on to the meat department.  I have the store aisles memorized and plan my grocery list accordingly.  Mother's Day is approaching and I thought I would go to the card aisle to purchase a card for my sister, Pam.  She has serious health concerns and I promised myself to send her some kind of  card every two weeks.  So, I moved to the card section.  I approached the value cards, then the birthday cards and then the seasonal Mother's Day section.  As I started to thumb through the cards, my heart began to ache and tears  came to my eyes.  I could not stop the steady stream of tears flowing down my cheeks.  I moved to a different aisle trying to gain my composure.  It is not every day that you see someone falling apart in the card section of Wal-Mart.  The truth is that my  mom died last year and this is the first Mother's Day without her.  Sometimes emotions  and heart ache surface at the most unusual  times.  No matter how much time passes  or how old a person becomes the emptiness in our heart may become smaller but it really doesn't leave.  I miss my   Mom!

Cherry Chip Cookies

Have you ever had those days where you just feel like you fall short?  I had one of those this week.  I had a less than perfect day on Wednesday.  Work was challenging and dinner was looming.  My attitude was poor and my communication with my family was not exactly pleasant.  After dinner, I felt a little guilty  so I decided to make cookies. It is amazing what a cookie can do.  My family loves cookies and I am sorry to say that I do not make them as often as I should.  Cookies can say, "I am thinking of you!" or "I am sorry for not listening!"  or "I am really trying to be a better mom!" or  whatever else you might be feeling bad about that day.  Here is a cookie that is easy and my family loves.  They are great to make when you have extra teens at your home that you did not anticipate. 
     Cherry Chip Cookies:
     1 Cherry Chip cake mix
     1/2 cup of flour
     1/3 cup of oil
     3 eggs
     Mix well.  Bake at 350 for 10 to 12 minutes.
This receipe was shared with our family by an amazing lady who is actually famous for them. She often times had 15 to 20 extra teens at her home.  She would make several batches to make sure that everyone was happy.  My kids were often part of those extra teens.  I think of her example and kindness each time I bake them. 

Stand Alone

     One of our sons went on a date this week.  There were  two boys and two girls.  They were going to the movies.  We asked our son what movie they were going to see.  He did not know.  We encouraged him to know before he left.  He darted out the door.  He came home and told us that the other three in his group had gone to a movie together and he had gone to a seperate movie by himself.  It turned out that the movie the other three saw was rated R.  He chose to go to a PG-13 movie instead.  His movie let out earlier than the other movie so he just waited in the lobby.  I am thankful he chose to stand alone.

Hope Goals

     As a teacher one of my main goals each and every day is to see my students not only as they are but as they can become.  I started doing this with my own kids when they were very young.  It is funny now because as they get older I find that I hope, and  hope and hope and have less and less control.  For each of my children I have goals for them and then I have" hope goals".  The difference is when our children were young, I could direct them and move them in the direction of the goals I wanted them to achieve.  Now that they are older, I just have "hope goals."  These are goals that I hope they achieve.  I have had them in mind since they were young but I have no control  if they come to pass.  I hope they do but it is all up to the individual child. For example, I hope that each of my children graduate from college.  Our oldest will graduate from Utah State in May  YEAHHH- one hope goal checked off!!  I hope that each child will find  a wonderful spouse to marry.  I hope that each of them are happy and healthy.  I have many other hopes for them and it helps me to visualize these  "hope goals" when times are challenging!  One thing that  has been rewarding is to share my "hope goals" and the reasoning behind them with our children as they have gotten older.  I hope they have "hope goals" for their children.  It is a way to see our children  for not only who they are but for what they can become. (I always  remember to be flexible with  goals and steadfast with hope--kids change, circumstances change, but life is always good!)

It Takes A Village

Wow!  As I write this entry, our little town's basketball team is getting ready to play for the state title in basketball.  Last night they had the formidable task of facing an undefeated and heavily favored team.  After a very close game, our team was victorious.  The wonderful thing about the victory is that is was a team victory.  There was not an outstanding player and the scoring was shared by many on the team. When the game was over, parents and friends gathered near the team tunnel entrance.  Each player emerged and was greeted by applause, cheers and hugs.  Parents hugged each other.  Parents hugged their boys.  Parents hugged the other parents and the other boys on the team. As I laid in my bed last night at 1:30 in the morning trying to calm the adreneline flowing in my body, I reflected on how raising kids and teaching is like a team game.  The cliche that says, "I takes a village to raise a child," came to my mind sereral times.  Living in the same village and playing on the same team makes a difference.  My son has had a hard time with basketball this year.  Circumstances have been challenging.  People from our neighborhood, school and community have given words of encouragement; even calling him at home to offer support.  How many times do we see the kids in our neighborhoods or at different activities and fail to acknowledge them?  How many times do we ask with genuine interest the teenagers that we know how life is going?  I have made a committment to myself to do better!!  After this sport season, the compassion and love of others has made the difference to one 18 year old boy.  As parents, we can only express appreciation and try to pay it forward with other youth that may cross our path.  Each young person, no matter the age, can stand to have another positive, encouraging influence in thier life.  As a teacher, I see grandparents, administrators, parents, friends and neigbors stepping up to the challenge of taking on the role in their particular part of the village. Sadly, I also see young people who are just trying to survive. There is always that one person who seems to sense that there is need that is not filled. Unforntunately, life gets so busy, those wonderful people do not get recognition or they are not appreciated until too much time has passed and the contact with those people is lost.  I had two amazing teachers that made a life changing differece to me.  I am ashamed to say that I never took the opportunity to thank them. I hope that, as a parent, I can encourage my children to recogonize those people outside thier family circle that have shown support and love. Such love and encourgement from many different sources can move kids in the right direction.  Imagine how a whole comminity striving to uplift and support could influence the life of the young people that struggle to find their own place.  I think, once again, it is a moment. A moment to show interest, a moment to encourage, a moment to reach outside ourselves, a moment to uplift another and a moment to be an active part in the village in which we live.  Thanks for reading!

Night "Talk"

     My husband and I were driving to a football game an hour and a half away.  During the drive, I was expressing to him my desire to write a book.  He asked me, "What would you put in the book?"  I said that I would put in things that I thought we did that really mattered and made a difference to our kids.  We sat in silence for a time.  I was thinking; What did we do that really made a difference?  Several thoughts came to my mind but one stood out amoung the others.
     Starting with our oldest child (She is now 21 years old) until now, I have had night talk with our kids.  When Sara was little, we would start at a certain time each night.  We would read together, sing together and then snuggle together.  We did this each night.  Then Emily came along and Sara and Emily and I would read together, sing together, and I would snuggle each one of them for a few precious moments.When Jacob came along, it became a little more of a challenge.  I had to do two shifts.  One for the girls and then one for Jacob.  Each night I would read to them, we would sing together, we would snuggle together and then I would put music on and they would go to sleep.  Can I insert here that Jacob was quite insistant that I stay by him until he was asleep?  There were times when my arm would fall asleep because as I was lying next to him I would rest my head on my arm. I would rest my head on  it for such a long time that I would get a dead arm.  Now, Jacob is 18 and will soon be leaving and I am grateful for each "dead" arm!  Sam and Steven came along and the bedtime routine for several years took about 45 minutes to an hour.  As our children grew, the time spent with them at night grew shorter.  I would still tuck them in at night but we saved one night a week for night talk.  It was usually Sunday evening.  On this night, I would talk to each one of our kids.  I would ask them how the week went.  I would tell them of things they did during the week that I noticed that were outstanding, amazing, kind, and ordinary.  We would talk about school problems, friend problems, coach and team problems and share ideas. It was during these night talks that we  solved so many problems, and eased concerns. I guess during these wonderful  moments of time, I learned to see our kids for what they were and for what they could become.  It became an opportunity for me to express my hopes for them, to give them  my vote of confidence and to share my trust with them.  As tears fall on my cheeks as I write this, I am not sure why I started night talk.  I just know that  even when my girls come home from college, I still tuck them in and we still have those precious moments right before bed staying connected and sharing thoughts. Just three weeks ago, on a Sunday evening, our 18 year old and our 16 year old son asked me, "Are you coming down?" I jumped up from my chair and said, "Most Certainly!"  I have a saying above my kitchen sink that says, "We do not remember days, we remember moments!"  As I reflect back, some of my sweetest moments have come during night talk.  Thanks for reading!

Why I Started this Blog

     I never thought that I would be the type of person to have a blog.  I am not very "tech" savy.  In fact, I have trouble remembering to access my email.  I would like to start with a disclaimer.  I am not an expert.  REPEAT!  I am not an expert.  I just have had some wonderful challenges and experiences that have caused me to try different ideas that have worked for me and my family.  I stayed home with my children until I went back to school and recieved my teaching degree three years ago.  I taught third grade for two years then because of budget cuts I was moved to teaching first grade this year.  One parent/teacher conference compelled me even more to start this blog. As two loving parents sat across from me, they expressed their desire to raise a responsible, caring, contibuting member of society.  Their child was, however, having major behavior concerns in my class.  I spoke to them about giving their child choices and consequences.  The mother's response was, "How do I do that?"  My heart went out to these two humble, loving parents.  I then proceeded to give a few examples and suggested a few ideas that might help them.  They have tried those ideas and I have followed up in my classroom and this child's behavior has improved.  This experience and several others throughout the past several months has led me to believe that maybe  others might find some of my simple thoughts helpful.